Kooky Monster

It’s funny how one thing can lead to another in the moviehouse, how one viewing experience can open a door for the discovery of something hitherto unknown which ultimately enriches our appreciation of the cinema. That was precisely the outcome of our earlier research into the polar encounter with "The Thing from Another World," a cult favorite which established B-movie star Kenneth Tobey as the iconic monster-fighter of the 1950s; after flash-frying the vegetable menace in "The Thing," Tobey took on a rampaging dinosaur in "The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms" and a gigantic octopus in "It Came from Beneath the Sea."

Well, as we said, one thing led to another, and we came across an undiscovered jewel in the DVD bargain bin titled, in all seriousness, "The Naked Monster" (2005), an endearing, filmed-on-the-cheap spoof of Atomic Age creature features starring Kenneth Tobey. The movie is often but mistakenly cited as Tobey’s last screen role. In fact, Tobey shot all his scenes in 1984, at least eighteen years prior to his death, before his last appearances in such pictures as "Big Top Pee-wee," "Gremlins 2: The New Batch" and "Honey, I Blew Up the Kid."

Originally titled "Attack of the B-Movie Monster," "The Naked Monster" was shot on various formats, including Super 8mm film and videotape, and featured more purloined stock footage from previous movies than should be legally allowed. As mentioned above, the production was initially completed in 1984, with extensive reshoots astoundingly accomplished more than a decade later. Producer and writer Ted Newsom, whose lifelong passion for horror and science-fiction movies resulted in a hefty catalog of genre documentaries, directed "The Naked Monster" with Wayne Berwick, whose résumé includes the cut-rate cannibal comedy "Microwave Massacre" (1983), a sad coda to the career of deadpanned standup comic Jackie Vernon (below).

Jackie Vernon is best known as the voice of the popular holiday favorite "Frosty the Snowman"

Initially, the film featured a stop-motion-animated monster, recalling Ray Harryhausen’s special effects wizardry that gave life to the creatures in "The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms" and "It Came from Beneath the Sea." Better suited to the goofy proceedings, however, the filmmakers instead opted for a man-in-a-rubber-suit as the sixty-foot tall "Monstersaurus Erectus," a three-eyed humanoid dinosaur with a simplistically charming presence of its own.

Reprising his role as Colonel Patrick Hendry from 1951’s "The Thing from Another World," Kenneth Tobey, whose Earth-saving heroics from "The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms" and "It Came from Beneath the Sea" are also cleverly worked into the script, is called upon to again rescue humanity from an unearthly threat. Presented with a box containing his preserved uniform, Tobey gasps, "My God! My old monster-fighting suit!"

The film goes beyond the presence of cult hero Tobey with a fan’s-favorite array of genre icons in a cascade of in-joke cameos. For the record, here is a rundown on the film’s guest stars, in alphabetical order, with, if only to keep things in perspective with the picture’s ultimate availability on DVD in 2005, the year of their passing…

Flustered Man…Forrest J. Ackerman (died 2008), a lifelong horror movie aficionado who published the seminal Famous Monsters of Filmland magazine from the 1950s to the 1980s and who was a sought-after bit player in several genre productions, from "The Howling" to the Michael Jackson music video for "Thriller."

Dr. Clete Ferguson…John Agar (died 2002), ex-husband of Shirley Temple who portrayed Professor Clete Ferguson in "Revenge of the Creature" (1955). In "The Naked Monster," he poses not at all subtly beside a 3-D wall-hanging portrait of the Gill-man. Agar’s dialogue also references his starring role in 1955’s "Tarantula" (which, like "Revenge of the Creature," featured studio contract player Clint Eastwood in a bit roles).

Major Allison…Robert Clarke (died 2005), who starred in "The Man from Planet X" (1951), "The Astounding She-Monster" (1957) and "The Hideous Sun Demon" (1959).

Narrator…George Fenneman (died 1997), who, undoubtedly best known as Groucho Marx’s announcer on the late 1940s-1950s quiz show "You Bet Your Life," made his film debut as a scientist in "The Thing from Another World." Intoning ominously, Fenneman describes "The Naked Monster" as "crushing toys as if they were cars!"

Lighthouse Keeper…John Harmon (died 1985), who portrayed the lighthouse keeper in 1959’s low-budget knockoff of "The Creature from the Black Lagoon," "The Monster of Piedras Blancas," which must be especially endearing to filmmaker Ted Newsom since "The Naked Monster" opens on a beach in Piedras Blancas. Busty pin-up girl and actress Jeanne Carmen (died 2007), who played Harmon’s daughter in "The Monster of Piedras Blancas," portrays his distraught wife in "The Naked Monster."

Kelton the Cop…Paul Marco (died 2006), who appeared as the clueless Officer Kelton in three back-to-back grade-Z thrillers made by Ed Wood, often declaimed as the worst director of all time. The three films, "Bride of the Monster," "Night of the Ghouls" and "Plan 9 from Outer Space," are often fondly referred to as the "Kelton Trilogy."

Paul Marco

Dr. Helen Dobson…Lori Nelson, who portrayed Helen Dobson in "Revenge of the Creature."

Dr. Sylvia Van Buren…Ann Robinson, who played Sylvia Van Buren in the 1953 screen version of  "The War of the Worlds" and appears in "The Naked Monster" with conspicuously displayed desk models of that film’s alien spacecraft. (Robinson and her "The War of the Worlds" costar Gene Barry appeared as Dakota Fanning’s grandparents in Steven Spielberg’s 2005 remake of that film.)

Professor Bradshaw…Robert Shayne (died 1992), who, best known as Inspector Henderson on the 1950s TV series "Adventures of Superman," starring George Reeves, appeared in 1953’s "Invaders from Mars."

Nikki’s Mom…Gloria  Talbot (died 2000), who costarred with Tom Tryon in "I Married a Monster from Outer Space" (1958) and whose throwaway gag in "The Naked Monster" about having been wed to an alien sadly ended up on the cutting-room floor.

General Mann…Les Tremayne (died 2000), who portrayed Major General Mann in 1953’s "The War of the Worlds" (he was also in "The Monster of Piedras Blancas") and has a hilarious line referencing a later role of his when he fervidly declares, "I know how to stop your monster! Poke sticks at it!…It worked with the Slime People in ’62!"

Robert Cornthwaite in "The Thing from Another World"

Particularly noteworthy in the fan-favorite parade of 50’s sci-fi notables is Robert Cornthwaite (died 2006), who does a dead-on takeoff of his role in "The Thing from Another World" as Dr. Carrington, the head scientist who obstinately opposed Kenneth Tobey’s attempts to destroy the thawed monster, passionately desiring to communicate with the alien. In "The Naked Monster," Cornthwaite pleads with Tobey, "That creature is older and wiser than any living thing on Earth! I want to be its friend. I want to take it out to brunch and have coffee and croissants and discuss Nietzche and Schopenhauer and the Unified Field Theory!"

Robert Cornthwaite in "The Naked Monster"

(Popping up in the midst of this nostalgic ensemble is an amusing cameo by contemporary actor Daniel Roebuck, who costarred with Tommy Lee Jones in "The Fugitive" and its sequel "U.S. Marshals" and portrayed Dr. Leslie Arzt on the TV series "Lost," as a Naval captain in an Abbott-and-Costello-inspired exchange with a befuddled admiral.)

John Goodwin and R.G. Wilson

The cameos are bookended with the regular cast of characters, which, besides the stalwart presence of Tobey (who would later refer to the film as "that goddamned thing"), features Brinke Stevens as a no-nonsense scientist, John Goodwin as a government agent and R.G. Wilson as a dimwitted sheriff. Off-camera, Wilson is a cinematographer and Goodwin is a respected and honored special makeup effects artist, whose big screen credits include "Critters," "Legend," "The Thing" and "Men in Black." Thrice nominated for his work on the original "CSI: Crime Scene Investigation" series, he shared an Emmy in 2006 for Outstanding Makeup for a Series for "CSI: NY."

John Goodwin

Brinke Stevens’ first major speaking role was in the 1982 slasher film "Slumber Party Massacre," and ever since, thanks to employment in countless genre films, most of them direct-to-video, she has remained the reigning Scream Queen, an unexpected title for a woman who played a scientist who was, in fact, a scientist. Stevens, who received a Bachelor of Science in Biology and Psychology, subsequently earned a Masters of Science in Marine Biology from Scripps Institution of Oceanography and worked as a scientist for the San Onofre Nuclear Power Station and the National Fisheries Service before pursuing a modeling career. She was married to the late Dave Stevens, the renowned comic book artist who created "The Rocketeer," for six months in 1980, continuing afterwards to model for him.

Often mentioned in the same breath as Brinke Stevens when talking about scream queens, Linnea Quigley and Michelle Bauer, who costarred with Stevens in 1987’s "Nightmare Sisters" and 2012’s "Cougar Cult," pop up in cameos in "The Naked Monster." As expected, Quigley appears topless. Speaking of gratuitous nudity, we need to acknowledge a shower scene Brinke Stevens filmed for "The Naked Monster" years after principal photography had been completed, accompanied by onscreen subtitles reading, "The next morning…Dr. Nikki Cox took a shower. It was a morning she would never forget. It was a shower she would never forget…Very important to the plot, too. Really."

Linnea Quigley, Michelle Bauer, Brinke Stevens

"The Naked Monster" ends with an unapologetic twist on the famous "Watch the skies!" warning in "The Thing from Another World" as the characters declare, "Watch this guy! Keep watching this guy!" Yes, the script is rife with atrocious puns and groaners of sight gags (all presented in the rapid-fire style of if-you-didn’t-like-that-joke-here’s-another-one) and the special effects are embarrassingly cheap, but what can’t be denied is that fact that passion and affection the filmmakers have for the target of their satire is genuine and humbly honest.

In an emotional epilogue, writer-producer-co-director Ted Newsom appears on-camera and says, "We didn’t have a lot of money, and it took us a long time, but we had the most wonderful cast anybody could ever ask for. Some of those actors aren’t with us anymore. We dedicate this film to our cast, past and present. Our friends. Our heroes."